Feeling like myself again?

I have hesitated to say this sentence because it scares me a little, but.... I think I am feeling like myself again.  Yes, there are a few odd things still.  However, at least I FEEL like I am going to live.  No, really.  We throw around the term, "I'm gonna die" or "I'm dying" but I really, REALLY thought I was.  No joking.  Looking back, I don't even know how I got from there to here.  But here I am.  And oh how many lessons I have learned along the way!

Right now, life is AMAZING!  I am doing a job I LOVE, raising kids I LOVE, married to a guy I LOVE, and busy, busy, busy with work, church, Ashton's school, baseball, and raising Jayce.

Ashton is loving baseball this year and is getting better everyday.  He graduates from Kindergarten next week (AAAHHHH) and is super excited for 1st grade.  He just turned 6 and is CrAzY about superheroes.  It's funny how kids will surprise you because I always thought Ashton was going to be a natural athlete and would struggle more with schoolwork, but it has turned out to be the opposite.  He is insanely smart and an excellent student.  They are already doing spelling tests (in Kindergarten!!) and he surprises me every time one comes home!  He loves sports very much but has to work very hard to keep up with kids his age.  He is very passive around other kids and won't play as aggressive as he does at home with the big boys.  He is too tenderhearted and I have him worried that he is going to hurt someone. 

Jayce is...well, he's just Jayce.  He has gone from teeny baby, to fat baby, to teeny toddler.  I worry about his lack of eating and the fact that he is wearing the same size clothes this year that he wore when he was 1 (he is almost 3!).  I have learned in the last 3 years though that Jayce will progress on his time and that I should NOT rush him.  He shows no interest in potty training, in fact, he is downright AGAINST it!  After being so frazzled for 6 months over him not walking, I have learned to wait.  He is very much like his mother and I can tell you from experience, she doesn't like to be forced into things either. :)  When you are parenting, you learn that there are certain areas that you can give a little on and that there are certain areas that you will NOT give on.  Everyone is happier when you find the balance!

Just For Fun

I found this blog that asks its readers a series of questions weekly just for fun and to learn more about everyone. I thought it was interesting so I will try it out. Just one question for this week... We'll see how it goes!

*Do you live close to where you grew up? Why?


My answer to this: Well, I kind of grew up everywhere but I spent the largest amount of time in Sand Springs. I live in Pryor now which is about an hour away from there. I moved to Pryor because a large majority of my family lives here. There are many other places I would like to live and things I would like to do. At the same time, I love that my kids have family close by because family is very important to kids. All of my great childhood memories involve my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. and I think it's important for my kids to get to have those memories as well! :)

Feel free to leave a comment with your own answer to this question. Thanks for playing along!!

Confessions

So I had this whole long blog written about my latest struggles but I decided to scrap it because even I couldn't handle my own whining. I really wanted to start blogging again because there is a certain kind of therapy in writing down thoughts and sending them out there into the internet abyss. I'm still not sure what all I want to write about but I know I want to do something...

For this first post I decided to just do a few confessions about some things I've learned about myself over the last few very trying months. So... here goes!

1) I am a total control freak. I even wish I could control that about myself!
2) I have always believed that a person's true character is revealed during hard times and this belief has left me realizing that I have A LOT of work to do!
3) I am tooooo analytical. I think this ties into #1 a little.
4) I have learned who I can rely on and who I cannot.
5) I am going to put more time and effort into being the wife and mother I should be.
6) This is something I knew already but have experience FOR REAL now: Prayer works!
7) I am a little crazy and am prepared to accept that about myself! :)

Self-realization is a scary thing. Oh well, as a wise person once said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr.Suess